"Maybe you're not born to ride ..." I had this song line all day yesterday in the head. It was evening before I could get rid of it, so to speak and give me a clear idea that I will try to reproduce here.
me it was physically beautiful, when I came back here. The first week was not a problem. I had everything under control, as they say. I tried to leave everything behind me, which is in Stuttgart, I have tried all the problems that burden all the things I just turn off completely and its all here to be able to.
But even if I did not notice all the things, they are still there. On yesterday two more packages from home arrived on my shoulders, and the realization that something stuck in my back, so that the energy pulses can not flow properly. This was just too much at once and because my head is not properly intervened told me my body - Wait a minute, take care of you. I had severe back pain. This in turn means that I got really scared that the possibility exists that I do not ride anymore. I'm just not born to ride. This fear has paralyzed me then anything, the pain became stronger and I've made mistakes with the horses. Which, Ms. Sander noted and corrected, as in the past two days many things have been correct for me, as I was wondering if I can answer at all, me horse let go, if I do everything anyway worse do, Anna is completely warped, Walki falls back into old patterns, etc. During the break, then had accumulated a lot in me, a lot of fear and little faith in me. Only with the help of Anja, I could see a possible link between my problems with my back pain. I I then started to write down what I loaded and the list is unfortunately not particularly short. But my back was better, I felt relieved. After a short walk during which I've let the wind blow around the ears and I concentrated on that I feel good, I feel very comfortable here, the work gives me pleasure and the pain was triggered psychologically, I felt actually better. Until now I have no pain in my back. I know what affect me, but I know also that the last few days have still not mean my career off in the riding and I know now that my body is paying attention very strongly to me and responds to me. By gezielte Übungen (Feldenkrais...... etc.) werde ich meinen Rücken stärken (nicht unbedingt nur muskulär) und vielleicht bekomme ich die Impulse ja auch noch zum fließen. Ich schaue nun wieder zuversichtlicher in die nächsten Tage, Wochen, Monate und Jahre und freue mich wieder heute Abend zu den Pferden zu gehen, auch wenn ich Fehler mache - wie soll ich denn jetzt schon perfekt sein?
